Arbitrage Delight
Reworked lyrics by Bobby See & the Infinettes
(Sung to the tune of Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band)

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some arbitrage delight.
My motto’s always been that when the price ain’t right I can get in there and arb it, I can make it tight.
And prices look a little better in the light of day.
And the False Boundary’s always gonna be there anyway.

Thinking of you’s workin’ up an appetite – looking forward to a little arbitrage delight.
Rubbing puts and calls together making sparks ignite and the thought of arbing you is getting so exciting.
Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad prices just aren’t right.  Bad prices just aren’t right.

Buying companies for free with the False Boundary.  Can’t overcome the Paradox Fiduciary.
A paradox or two can be such a bore.  Just hide it in a footnote and keep spewing more – Hey!
Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad prices just aren’t right.  Bad prices just aren’t right.

It’s just a fancy French word that is arbitrage.  And in most people’s hands it smells like bad fromage.
They’re really mostly spread trades held a bit too long and when they’re over-crowded they can go quite wrong – Hey!
Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad prices just aren’t right.  Bad prices just aren’t right.

Bad boundaries create such a big fat right tail.  I wonder if that could have hurt the London Whale.
Bad boundary’s price distortions travel near and far.  I wonder if they’re hiding in my trusty VaR – Hey!
Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad prices just aren’t right.  Bad prices just aren’t right.

If dad can help obscure it, then what the Hell.  We knew it would be years before the boundaries fell.
A little self-fulfillment can be such a rush, especially when white-washing with my big broad brush – Hey!
Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad prices just aren’t right.  Bad prices just aren’t right.

If I ever taught at Harvard I get Five Grand more.  This is gonna be so easy it’ll be a bore.
But they want something useful, like “three years or more.”  Can’t hide behind abstraction, now I’m not so sure – Hey!
Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad prices just aren’t right.  Bad prices just aren’t right.

Our motto’s always been that time is infinite.  Empiricism?  Rigor?  Who gives a shite?
For some phony arbs we can look to them.  Did I forget to mention LTCM? – Hey!
Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad prices just aren’t right.  Bad prices just aren’t right.

Bad prices in flight – arbitrage delight.
Bad boundaries just aren’t right.  Bad boundaries just aren’t right.
Bad boundaries are a fright!

Games Elites Play
Lyrical rewrite by Bobby See & the Infinettes.
Sung to Games People Play by the Alan Parsons Project

Where do we go from here now that infinite time has blown up?
And how do we find our price with no Nobels to lend us a hand?

I don’t want to live here no more.  I don’t want to stay.
Ain’t gonna spend my infinite life quietly fading away.

Games elites play, you take it or you leave it.
The things that they say, honor bright.
If they promised you the moon and the arbs would you believe them?
Games elites play in the middle of the night.

Where do we go from here now that Black Scholes Merton has blown up?
And how do we think of time with no Nobels to lend us a hand?

I don’t want this BS no more.  I don’t want to pray.
Ain’t gonna spend the rest of my dime in their church of clay.

Games elites play, you take it or you leave it.
The things that they say, honor bright.
If he promised you the moon and the arbs would you believe him?
Games Bobby played in broad daylight.

I don’t want false boundaries no more, I don’t wanna pay
Ain’t gonna let Infinity Tax suck my profits away.

Games elites play, you take it or you leave it.
The things that we say, honor bright.
If we promise you the moon and the arbs would you believe us?
Games we still play to make Black Scholes seem right.